1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a chef — figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a deli worker, but anyway I sliced it .... couldn’t cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but didn’t have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian — until I realized there was no future In it.
14. My last job was working at Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. So, I tried retirement and found I’m perfect for the job!
Shoot-out at Interplas
Stand H45 at Interplas 2011 will be the site for the “Tool-Temp Darts Bar.” Tool-Temp, a leading provider of industrial temperature-control products in Europe, and show organizer Rapid News Communications Group, will host a 60-sec dart shoot-out to pit the skills of visitors and exhibitors against one another.
Contestants of the free event will be given three darts and 60 sec to achieve their highest score. Competitors are allowed to run and collect their darts as many times as possible within that time frame. The top 20 scorers each day will have their names added to the scoreboard. At the end of the third day, prizes will be awarded to the top three scorers. Prizes include a London Theater Weekend for two, an iPad, and an iTouch.
Interplas will be held at the NEC, Hall 4, on Sept. 27-29 in Birmingham, U. K. Go to www.britishplasticsshow.com for more information.