Words of wisdom?

Jan. 9, 2009
Larry, the Cable Guy strikes again

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light t ravel s fas ter than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Sponsored Recommendations

April 16, 2025
Clean. Compact. Less heat.
April 16, 2025
SEW-EURODRIVE Introduces DR2C motor, IE5 Ultra-Premium Efficiency Motor
March 31, 2025
Unlike passive products - made of simple carbon springs - the bionic prostheses developed by Revival Bionics are propulsive, equipped with a motor and an artificial Achilles tendon...
March 31, 2025
Electric drives are a key technology for the performance of machines, robots, and power tools. Download this guide for an introduction to high-quality mechatronic drive systems...

Voice your opinion!

To join the conversation, and become an exclusive member of Machine Design, create an account today!