Things you won't hear on the World's Smartest Design Engineer game

By now many Machine Design readers have tried out our World's Smartest Design Engineer game. The game avatar, unfortunately, is supposed to be a game designer's idea of what I look like in real life.

Well, the game designers have never met me. If they had, they would have known I would be unlikely to utter the annoying phrases that continually come from my avatar. I have actually offered to provide commentary that is more along the lines of something I might really say in situations where gamers provide a wrong answer.

Inexplicably, my offer has been ignored. So for those who are curious, here are some of the encouraging words the real me would be likely to give aspiring game players:

That's the kind of pig-ignorant answer I'd expect from a bubblehead like you.

Did you get your engineering degree by mail order?

I've got a pair of shoes that knows more about this than you do.

If your driving is as good as your engineering then the roads are a dangerous place to be.

When it comes to engineering, you have a lot to be modest about.

Humans only use about a tenth of their brain power. With you, it could be less.

Your answer to that one was like a roller coaster. It made me want to throw up.

Are you always this bad or are you making a special effort today?

I don't know what makes you this bad but whatever it is, it really works.

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge but it looks like you just gargled.

You're about as smart of something that needs watering twice a week.

You do know this is an engineering game, right? The kiddies' game is down the street.

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